Hi there, blog.

Its a new year, I guess I really should change the layout but I'm really damn fucking lazy. There's a couple of things that have totally changed my perspective in life, this time.. I swear on revenge.

Everything and everyone who has taken me lightly, you fucking WATCHOUT. I'm not fucking kidding you. Even with my frail body, it all but takes a pipe to your head to knock you out. Of course, I'm not gonna resort to violence, rather I will toy with your mind slowly and gradually till you break.

You want to play dirty? I can be the DIRTIEST of people you can ever lay your eyes on. Forever alone? Hell yeah I'll be forever alone if you all don't exist in my life no more.

I do not care that this post is in a public blog and someone will see it, but I have to take it out somewhere. This is the first place to do it.

Screw love, screw fake friends, screw my father. I know who I'll need and who I can depend on. Last night was an excellent example of what makes a friend.

Sanford is definitely one of them. On new year's, Wendy proved that she is one of them. Victor has always proved to be one. The rest is... eh.

I can live without girls in my life, despite what you all think. I just like having some eye-candy around while I'm drinking. Yes, I drink, not sip like some pussy having a hard-time drinking. Yes, I vomit after that. But you know what?

In all seriousness, I am fully aware of my surroundings and what's happening around me, even I'm up to my limit, meaning that any breath I take may end up in me puking all over the place.

Last night, right after I ranted a little to Wen Jie, aka "Mink", she went in the room and didn't even look me in the eye once. Didn't say a word to me, even though I looked in her direction quite a few times. Had a look around the room, actually, I bet a lot of the guys there want to get in her pants.

Well I do kinda like her, she has that same passion in singing as I do, and we do talk sometimes quite smoothly, without me screwing up the conversation as I usually do with someone I like. Thing is, she did one thing I will not fathom.

Judge me. I absolutely hate when people aren't in my shoes and judge me. They do not know this feeling of helplessness when they have an abusive father, a psychiatrist AND doctor/specialist who has already diagnosed me as unfit to work.

If I go to any company, and they find out about this. HELLO? YOU THINK THEY HIRE? I cut short the convo as soon as she started judging me, because I was already infuriated.

You aren't me, so do not JUDGE ME! That thing alone threw off every single bit of attraction I had to her. That and the fact that Sanford obviously likes her. When I say that I kinda like her, I can see that he isn't happy. Okay then.

I knew it from the exact moment I saw her and Sanford come in together on my birthday. My feminine sixth sense is still functioning properly, I guess. I sense things like that. He said before to becareful of her, she got some attitude or something, but he does call her and stuff...

So... He might deny it, but yeah I think he still likes her. So, as a friend, I will step out of the picture totally, I'll not even call or contact her anymore. Hopefully not even see her. I'm really considering not going to any outings with that group anymore. At most I'll ask Sanford out, not the rest.